March 2012
1 tag
TRACIE: Did you listen to that episode of Fresh Air with Jay Z?
TRACIE: Well, that's the worst thing I've ever said.
February 2012
2 tags
I haven’t updated my Tumblr much lately. Work has been nuts, but I wouldn’t say that I’ve been obsessing about work—quite the opposite. I wish I had a career that I could be more passionate about. I often think about going into business for myself, maybe opening a Bennigan’s, but then I remember that Bennigan’ses no longer exist, and I’m not so good with math.
1 tag
Oscar Update
TRACIE: Is that Sammy Davis Jr.?
ME: No, he's dead. I think that's Billy Crystal doing an impression.
TRACIE: Spoke too soon.
1 tag
Watching The Oscars
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome Academy Award winner, Morgan Freeman.
TRACIE: Oh, man. I really hope that isn't Billy Crystal in blackface.
1 tag
rendit replied to your video: Two things about this video: I’d like to see an…
Dude, admit that Gary Oldman as Ronald Reagan is a stroke of fucking genius. Do it.
But he’s British.
2 tags
2 tags
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
Interoffice Chat Transcript
COWORKER: Tomorrow is National Chilli Day. Where can we get some good chilli around here?
ME: YO FUCK THAT I EAT CHILLI EVERY DAY (poops pants)
COWORKER: Chris, are you drunk?
1 tag
I still have about 4 or 5 pounds of birthday...
Mark, the manager of The Abbey, the bar where I had my birthday party, bought us a cheesecake. It’s really good, lots of chocolate. Cheesecake and beer don’t always mix— actually, they never mix—but you know what does? Cheesecake and coffee. I’m eating Cheesecake for breakfast. I can do that, now; I’m 30.
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
nesbittslimesoda replied to your post: Happy birthday, Poops!
Well you could have just held onto the post until tomorrow and not made me look a fool. Or something. (Don’t worry, one year my mom forgot my birthday, too.)
First post of my 30’s will be tomorrow. It will be about how I always wanted a sports car.
1 tag
nesbittslimesoda asked: Happy birthday, Poops!
1 tag
Is this the last blog post of my 20's?
Happy Birthday.
1 tag
4 tags
unbornwhiskey:
“Dude, be honest, are you gonna go to that [redacted].”
“Dude, the whole point of me going is to take part in disaster.”
Bort is talking about Dirty 30 Fest, which is happening tonight, at The Abbey, 536 Driggs Avenue in Brooklyn!
4 tags
1 tag
1 tag
I had chicken for lunch and dinner yesterday.
Last night I had a dream that I lived next door to an artists commune. When I went to work, they went through all my personal belongings and posted a bunch of embarrassing stuff on the Internet, including a picture where I was wearing tights and you could tell I had a really small penis. Everyone at work saw it. It was mortifying. The next day the artists commune tried to bully me into making them...
1 tag
3 tags
I watched Moneyball last night.
It made me really excited for baseball season to start. Then I had a dream my boss traded me to another, much shittier agency. I had to work on a computer that used Windows ME. Flash developers are like the Dave Justice of the Internet or something.
2 tags
3 tags
1 tag
Just caught a glimpse of a special Valentine's Day...
I didn’t have an appropriate opportunity to snap a picture of it, but let me describe it to you. It was whole wheat, so naturally brown, but died with red food coloring. Not enough food coloring was used, so it wasn’t really red, just sort of a pepto pink with splotches of brown here and there, and instead of being round, it was heart-shaped. While the girth at which it was rolled was...
1 tag
3 tags
1 tag
youngmegadethite:
nameyourgod:
Christopher...
2 tags
I didn't know what slash fic meant. I thought it...
Sometimes when I think about something that makes me uncomfortable, I suddenly blurt out a random nonsense word or phrase. Often that word or phrase is even more awkward than whatever I was originally thinking. Sunday morning, I could hear my neighbor fucking, again, and that kind of made me uncomfortable. Walking back to bed from the bathroom, I said the words, “Mitt Romney Fan...
2 tags
Yes, I meant to type sings, but signs turned out...
JOE: Did you watch SNL?
ME: God no. Why would I do that?
ME: Why not just ask if I ate an entire tube of lo-fat ranch Pringles and chased it with a Muscle Milk while watching the Grammys?
ME: Because I'd rather do that.
JOE: Nic Cage cameo?
ME: Nic Cage signs cameo?
JOE: signs?
ME: Yes, signs. Cameo performs, while Nic Cage signs the lyrics for the hearing impaired.
2 tags
3 tags
1 tag
2 tags
dasmotorbike replied to your post: I know Rick Santorum is insane and we should never take anything he says seriously.
you can have a stepchild thats older than you. you just have to be young and marry someone much older. maybe that’s what he means
Got it. Rick Santorum wants to bang his stepmom.
1 tag
I know Rick Santorum is insane and we should never...
But how is the Massachusetts health care plan the stepchild of the President’s when it predates the Obama administration by 8 years?
2 tags
1 tag
Working from home today.
I might go eat at Vinnie’s, the pizza place that posts those whiteboard signs of popular pulp culture icons, wittily rephrased and artfully rendered to indicate the day’s specials.
What’s that blog called? I can’t search anything on this stupid site.
1 tag
This is the acapella remix.
2 tags
True story. I was in a video production class in...
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
Two Things
A Pantera Bread just opened by the office.
I now have my co-workers referring to it as Pantera Bread.
2 tags
1 tag
A couple of years ago, when I first moved to New York, I weighed 224 lbs. So, I decided to be a vegetarian, for health. I made it almost an entire year without eating meat—except seafood, I ate some seafood: fried shrimp, fish n’ chips, chicken wings.
Anyway, my first act as a vegetarian was to eat an entire Bloomin’ Onion.